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ben-c:

2 years ago my left arm was completely clean - not to say i hadn’t self harmed before, just not here. but i think, really, that this was the tipping point.

this was when i didn’t care if i couldn’t wear short sleeves anymore, because i didn’t plan on being around long enough for the weather to get that hot anyway.

this was when i gave up.

but you know, two suicide attempts and an arm cut to ribbons later, i’m still here. sometimes i don’t know why, and sometimes i’m kinda pissed, sure, but hey. i exist.

i exist, even if i’m not happy

i exist, even if i haven’t stopped cutting

i exist, even if i’m miserable with my weight

i. exist.

and i will keep existing, and i will keep relapsing, but that’s okay, because it’s proof that i’m trying.

i have people criticize me for wearing short sleeves in pictures, and you know what?

fuck that. fuck y’all. 

if i wanna prove i’m existing, i will.

i fucking exist.

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